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Title: A Secret Island in Your Mind
Pairing: Mckay/Zelenka
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Some violence and injuries, thoughts on homophobia
It suddenly flashed back to Rodney that there were other issues here besides his not boyfriend not cheating on him with a not sociopath. Or, romantic dramedy where two men who spend way too much time in their own heads stumble towards a relationship and are occasionally held hostage.
Word Count: ~25, 000

At AO3
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"You know how sometimes the last sentence you said, like, echoes in your brain and it just keeps sounding stupider? And you have to say something else just to make it stop?"

"It's so weird when you see someone you just dreamed about. Like it's gonna show."

"The thought that I might be seeing Jordan Catalano in a few hours was, like, impossible to comprehend. Like when they first tell you about infinity."

"It just seems like you agree to have a certain personality or something. For no reason. Just to make things easier for everyone. But when you think about it, I mean, how do you know if it's even you?"

"I just think people wanna believe things about people, and so they decide certain things are true. And they don't even ask. And it's not fair! 'Cause you have to live with it anyway."

"People always say how you should be yourself, like yourself is this definite thing. Like a toaster, or something. Like you can know what it is, even. But every so often, I'll have, like, a moment, when just being myself in my life, right where I am, is, like, enough."
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"Work. Be relentless. All over the world, people are working harder than you."

Sarah Manguso

I keep learning the same lessons over and over. It's like how every time I read Hesse's Siddhartha, I think 'ah, this is brilliant and answers all of life's questions,' and then I forgot the wisdom and keep turning away from the spin. It's also similar to how I periodically look up 'heuristic' and 'quotidian' and then forget their meaning.

All this is by way of saying, write. Word follows word and perhaps leads to something bigger than the quagmire of self. It at least leads to something to build upon and edit.

Work. Be relentless.
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1) Use the time of a total stranger in such a way that he or she will not feel the time was wasted.

2) Give the reader at least one character he or she can root for.

3) Every character should want something, even if it is only a glass of water.

4) Every sentence must do one of two things-reveal character or advance the action.

5) Start as close to the end as possible.

6) Be a Sadist. No matter how sweet and innocent your leading characters, make awful things happen to them-in order that the reader may see what they are made of.

7) Write to please just one person. If you open a window and make love to the world, so to speak, your story will get pneumonia.

8) Give your readers as much information as possible as soon as possible. To hell with suspense. Readers should have such complete understanding of what is going on, where and why, that they could finish the story themselves, should cockroaches eat the last few pages.
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Belief and Technique for Modern Prose – Jack Kerouac

1. Scribbled secret notebooks, and wild typewritten pages, for yr own joy
2. Submissive to everything, open, listening
3. Try never get drunk outside yr own house
4. Be in love with yr life
5. Something that you feel will find its own form
6. Be crazy dumbsaint of the mind
7. Blow as deep as you want to blow
8. Write what you want bottomless from bottom of the mind
9. The unspeakable visions of the individual
10. No time for poetry but exactly what is
11. Visionary tics shivering in the chest
12. In tranced fixation dreaming upon object before you
13. Remove literary, grammatical and syntactical inhibition
14. Like Proust be an old teahead of time
15. Telling the true story of the world in interior monolog
16. The jewel center of interest is the eye within the eye
17. Write in recollection and amazement for yourself
18. Work from pithy middle eye out, swimming in language sea
19. Accept loss forever
20. Believe in the holy contour of life
21. Struggle to sketch the flow that already exists intact in mind
22. Dont think of words when you stop but to see picture better
23. Keep track of every day the date emblazoned in yr morning
24. No fear or shame in the dignity of yr experience, language & knowledge
25. Write for the world to read and see yr exact pictures of it
26. Bookmovie is the movie in words, the visual American form
27. In praise of Character in the Bleak inhuman Loneliness
28. Composing wild, undisciplined, pure, coming in from under, crazier the better
29. You're a Genius all the time
30. Writer-Director of Earthly movies Sponsored & Angeled in Heaven

(oh number 3, where were you last week?)
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I'm liking this 2012 so far. I'm going back to school, oh yeah anthro, and my novel (that novel I've been working on for some time) is coming together nicely. I've decided to start this journal to find some writing outlets, share my so geeky interests, and do fannish things.

I've also started a LJ (semanticgame)which will look strikingly like this journal but will have a different name because of their pesky 15 character limit on journal names.

also I love other people's words and will probably post them:

Alas ! alas ! who's injured by my love?
What merchant's ships have my sighs drown'd?
Who says my tears have overflow'd his ground?
When did my colds a forward spring remove?
When did the heats which my veins fill
Add one more to the plaguy bill?
Soldiers find wars, and lawyers find out still
Litigious men, which quarrels move,
Though she and I do love.

John Donne

...I wanted to hurt you
but the victory is that I could not stomach it. We have
swallowed him up, they said. It's beautiful. It really is.
I had a dream about you. We were in the gold room
where everyone finally gets what they want.

You said 'Tell me about your books, your visions made
of flesh and light' and I said 'This is the Moon. This is
the Sun. Let me name the stars for you. Let me take you
there. The splash of my tongue melting you like a sugar
cube...' We were in the gold room where everyone
finally gets what they want, so I said What do you
want, sweetheart? and you said Kiss me. Here I am
leaving you clues. I am singing now while Rome
burns. We are all just trying to be holy. My applejack,
my silent night, just mash your lips against me.
We are all going forward. None of us are going back.

Richard Siken


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January 2013

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